Prompt for May; An Important Lesson

I won't lie. There were three other prompts I rolled for, (I have them numbered and use a random number generator), but I couldn't bring myself to write about them, and my last one was this, What is an Important Lesson You've Learned Lately? Which is also hard, but I think it's worth talking about.

The lesson? Suicide Prevention and Education.

I won't divulge too much information, but a classmate of mine died of suicide last week on the 13th. It shook me to the core, and I have had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this is reality, and not some twisted nightmare.

I remember him. He was short compared to the other guys at our school, but if I'm right, he was taller than me. White blond hair that made me jealous every time I saw him. Intelligence that would've taken him anywhere he wanted.

I'll never know how bad it was in his own world, in his mind, but having dealt with depression and suicidal ideologies myself, I can understand the pain and despair. What hurts me most is that I didn't know, because if I had, I would've been there for him how ever I could've been, but now it too late.

He's not of my same faith, but I hope that his God has taken him into His arms and wiped away the sadness that drove him to release himself of these earthly burdens.

I learned, that sometimes there isn't anything you can do. You can put all your energy into helping others, but someone still has to be there for you, and if you can't be there for yourself, no one else will be. My classmates death really hit me hard, because I knew him, because I understand that type of pain, and because I truly am sad for him and the suffering he must have felt, but if I let myself I could easily fall back into that same trap, the same vortex of emptiness.

I want to help people, so that means that I have to take care of myself until someone needs me, until I find someone to spend the energy on, the most I can do is spread awareness about mental health and the dangers of ignoring it.

If you or a loved one you know is suffering, reach out, and try your best to let them know that you care and that they are important in your life. If you can't find the right way to do it, there is nothing wrong with telling someone else, even the authorities if you think that person may harm themselves, it's called a welfare check, and trust me, law enforcement would rather do paperwork on a false alarm, than paperwork on changing a death from homicide to suicide.

If you are the one suffering from suicidal ideation (the thoughts of killing oneself and the planning of the act of killing yourself.) here are some numbers that you can call, there are even some you can text.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free (800-273-8255)

Crisis Hot Line (TEXT) text HOME to 741741

and don't forget to REACH OUT if you are having a hard time with your own thoughts. I know its hard, but please, if this is all you take away from it, just take that one leap of faith with someone you KNOW will listen, even if it's someone from these hotlines. REACH OUT, it will be ok, you can get help if you just wave to get it.

please.